Highest Highs; Lowest Lows

Well March has been eventful thus far…… It contains 2 major events of my life thus far. As my title suggests, the highest high and the lowest low. Didn't feel like blogging about this initially but i'm bored now and I've alr drafted my entire seoul part 2 trip a long while back. But i might as well post this first before that, lol this is way more interesting anyway (i think) and i gotta pen this very significant and important memory down….

First up, the good stuff first! I was dreading March cos i knew it was gonna be a life-changing month (didn't know it'll be THIS life changing though) but A levels results were gonna be out 2-4th and we got news that its out on the 2nd which was basically the first Monday of March and that really freaked me out and i got really anxious (rambling here)

I still remember not being able to focus or absorb a single thing LBY and Patsy Neo were saying cos i was THAT nervous and all i wanted was to run away from reality. I started tearing before i even got my results *no surprise i'm emotional like that* and i refused to stand up and step forth to collect it………LOL. When i finally mustered the courage to face my impending "doom", i was faced eye to eye with my form teacher. I recall the stern, expressionless look on her face that made me quiver -- my hands shaking as i gingerly reached out for my results slip.

That was when she broke into a smile and said "my dear, you really did very well i'm so proud of you".

I flipped it open and i literally cried tears of joy for the first time in my life hahahahahahaha never did i expect myself to be capable of whatever i got (it may not be FANTASTIC but its good enough for me and the course i want) omg imagine failing your entire JC year. Repeating and then consistently failing, my future was bleak. All those last minute mugging and consultations paid off and I'm now a strong believer in 'You reap what you sow'

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And then…. This brings me to the next major event of my life. I'm guessing most people already somewhat know the story but i'm just gonna post this once and for all to answer the questions i've been getting for the "full story". I don't mind sharing this obviously cos people SHOULD know the type of person she is and I'm not ashamed of defaming her on social media cos what she's done is a million times more shameful and I'm merely expressing my feelings and emotions.

So anyway, I spent a great deal of my time in JC with this girl and we've been through a lot together. Good and bad times, but we never fought or quarreled in any manner. I literally (i mean it) LITERALLY, spent every single fucking day of my life with her for the last few months before A levels. Studied consistently together. She was always more determined and conscientious (studying longer hours, practicing more etc) and honestly i was so proud of her back then. So proud of us, finally being able to prioritize and get down to business. Plus the company we had while studying together made everything more bearable and less of a hell-hole. That was the period we got EVEN closer, but we were already tight before that. Couldn't have been more thankful for a friend like her back then. And even after As we spent a copious amount of time together, be it shopping, hanging out, clubbing or mahjong. We literally talked about anything and everything under the sky. All those late night random and pointless conversations that rendered me speechless as i laughed in ecstasy to my phone…. The one friend i talked to every single day without fail and shared every detail of my life with.

So you can only IMAGINE my hurt and disappointment when i learnt about the betrayal of a friend i held so dear. I was in utter disbelief for a few good hours….

Nothing made sense then, i couldn't believe that she was capable of betraying me to this extent. I mean come on, keeping up with an act for 4 months straight has gotta be tough man how can anyone even find it in themselves to face your best friend normally for 4 months while you were fucking her bf/ex-bf behind her back. How could you have acted normally and continued to give me advice and PRETEND to be on my side when i went all "omg who's his new girl?!", not knowing that girl was you all along. And you guys even travelled together (and traveling together again now) WOW you guys deserve an oscar award. Guess you offered him things i didn't or wasn't willing to (ahem) did you really have to degrade yourself to this extent? Shameless 狗男女 

Well,  i guess only i can take the blame for being stupid and fooled by the both of them this whole time. On one hand i had a "best friend" who had A* acting skills and on another, an ex-bf who was already dating my "best friend" the whole time and had the decency to try to woo me back at the same time. Even worse, SHE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING TO WIN ME BACK but she still decided to stick with him. After all these, STILL him > me? Really? You of all my friends should know BEST the kind of person he is and you decide to give up our friendship for someone as worthless as him? Were you that desperate for attention? Did he pour you a mere teaspoon full of affection that you had to jump right into his arms?

And then just when i thought things couldn't get any worse, new info came to light. I found out about the overlap and everything made sense. Like no wonder u guys were on each other's snapchat best friends list. And all the times she picked up long calls from "a friend" or "mom". And how he knew so much about my current life. And like who the fuck gets a new gf a mere FEW DAYS after you've just broken up? I thought he was just being pathetic trying to make things up in the beginning but now that I've learnt the full story….. You had the fucking guts to fall for him when we were still together, and you had the fucking guts to tell me you tried to "stop it from happening" and you had the fucking guts to act along with me when i was so surprised he got a new gf so quickly when it was you all along?! And you had the fucking guts to tell me "If given a chance, i swear i would do things right" and then proceeded to tell me you were still dating him?!

I can't even go into more details of my discovery or that will just get my source into trouble. But really, you wouldn't wanna know either. It makes me sick to the gut and is probably the most disgusting thing I've heard and encountered in my entire life. I could really go and on and on about the little details that make this entire thing a whole lot more fucked up, but nah this is social media after all.

And people who are asking me why i'm making her take all the blame and not him as well, its because i don't give a single fuck about him but i actually cared for her as a fucking friend. And people who are asking me to show "mercy" or "give chance"…. You are not me, you don't understand how i feel and you have no rights to tell me how to react or what to say. So if any of u people wanna continue leaving such comments to me i suggest you just gtfo cos idgaf to what you have to say if its not nice. And people who're asking me to give them my blessing can just go to hell.

I hope you sleep in the bed and arms that i once slept in and never find peace with yourself. You can take my trash, the both of you are justly made for each other. A leopard never changes its spot, once a cheater always a cheater. Only this time, you cheated a friend.

Back to the GOOD… "The tougher the lesson, the bigger the blessing". Through this i realized who my real friends were and the people who actually care about me, shout out to you guys i am the blessed to have each and every single one of you. And of course i love whoever's on #teamkitty as well lol

/edit/ too many page views for this post…… And it's quite funny rereading it hahahaha i'll look back to my posts with fond (or not so) memories